IT'S NOW 1:30 AM SUNDAY MORNING I'VE BEEN BACK IN RWANDA FOR 15 DAYS THIS TIME, AND AM SITTING ON THE ROOF OF A BATTERED HOTEL IN KIGALI. AS I WRITE THIS THE SOLID BLACK SKY DIRECTLY ABOVE ME IS ALIVE WITH DOZENS OF ENORMOUS BOLTS OF LIGHTENING THAT ARE STRIKING ALL AROUND THE CITY. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE IN RWANDA -- AND FOR A MOMENT -- I WONDER IF THIS IS GOD'S REVENGE AGAINST A PEOPLE, A CITY AND A COUNTRY FOR THE TERRIBLE ACTS OF GENOCIDE THAT HAVE OCCURRED HERE. --- MY REALITY IS RETURNING -----THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE MONSOON RAINS THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR..

I DECIDED TO BRING A FAMILY OF TUTSI TO THIS HOTEL IN KIGALI BECAUSE I UNDERSTOOD THAT UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO THE U.N. AND THE MANAGER OF THIS HOTAL HAD SOMEHOW KEPT THE HUTU AT BAY WITH BRIBES OF FOOD, WHISKEY AND MONEY. THE MANAGER REMINDS ME OF THE LITTLE HUTU MOTHER SUPERIOR OF THE CONVENT IN KIBUYE WHO SUCESSFULLY SAVED THE LIVES OF 30 AMERICAN, EUROPEAN AND RWANDAN NUNS PLUS 15 TUTSI CHILDREN HIDDEN IN THE ATTIC.

I MUST, AT SOME TIME, WRITE ABOUT KIBUYE.

STRANGE BUT BOTH THE MANAGER AND THE MOTHER SUPERIOR ARE BOTH HUTU. STRANGE HOW GOD CAN MOVE THE HEARTS OF MEN AND WOMEN IN TIME OF GREAT TRAGEDY. THIS HOTEL IS FILTHY WITH THE ROOMS COVERED WITH BLOOD, URINE AND FECES. THE TUTSI WHO LIVED HERE HAD NO PLACE TO RELIEVE THEMSELVES. THE MANAGER REALLY SURPRISED ME — A MAN OF BEAUTIFUL, OLD WORLD MANNERS — HE SEEMED REALLY SURPRISED THAT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO STAY HERE, WITH THE SITUATION AS DEADLY AS IT IS. BUT HERE WE ARE AND HERE WE STAY; UNTIL MORNING.

I DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHY I AM STILL ALIVE. THE HUTU, MOST OF THE TIME WHEN THEY SEE ME THEY STOP KILLING, CRY VIVA LA FRANCE, SALUTE ME AND GO ON WITH THEIR DEADLY BUSINESS. AT FIRST I WAS PUZZLED ABOUT THE SALUTE AND THEN I REALIZED THEY HAD MISTAKEN ME FOR A SENIOR FRENCH MILITARY OFFICER BECAUSE OF MY AVIATOR SHIRT AND JACKET. THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF TALK ABOUT THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION COMING INTO RWANDA THROUGH GOMA AND MOVING THEIR BATTLE LINES IN BETWEEN THE HUTU AND TUTSI. THE HUTU BELIEVE THE FRENCH ARE COMING IN TO SAVE THEM. I HOPE NOT.

I CANNOT SEEM TO STOP THE TEARS OR ANGER. I HAVE BEEN TO OUR EMBASSY NOW FIVE OR SIX TIMES AND CAN'T FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS TO THEM HOW TERRIBLE IT IS HERE IN RWANDA. I KEEP SAYING GENOCIDE, GENOCIDE, AND GENOCIDE. THEY ARE FRIENDS AND ARE TRAUMATIZED BUT TELL ME WASHINGTON SIMPLY WILL NOT GET INVOLVED.

ON MY LAST DE-BRIEFING AT THE EMBASSY IN KAMPALA, THERE WAS A U.S. ARMY SPECIAL FORCES COLONEL WHO SIMPLY SAT AND STARED AT ME IN DISBELIEF. I COULD SEE THAT HE WAS SIMPLY GOING TO DISREGARD MY BRIEFING. MUCH TO MY SURPRISE, FIVE DAYS AGO SPOTTED THE AMERICAN FLAG FLYING OVER A GROUP OF TENTS AT THE AIRPORT IN GOMA, ZIARE. HE HAD BROUGHT A SPECIAL FORCES ASSESMENT TEAM IN 2 WEEKS BEFORE. HE WAS NOW A TOTALLY CHANGED MAN. HE TOLD ME HE NOT ONLY COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD BUT NOW HE WAS GOING TO PULL HIS PEOPLE OUT. NOT BECAUSE OF THE DANGER TO HIM OR HIS MEN — BUT BECAUSE HE WAS NO LONGER GOING TO RESTRAIN HIS MEN FROM KILLING THE KILLERS. I REALLY LIKE HIM AND HOPE TO FIND HIM AFTER THE WAR. AS FAR AS THE HUTU GO — LET HIM KILL AS MANY AS POSSIBLE.

DAMN THEM!

THE RED IRON SOIL OF RWANDA HAS ATTRACTED ONE OF THE MOST SPECTACULAR DISPLAYS I HAVE EVER SEEN . I AM WATCHING BOLTS DANCE DOWNWARD OVER THE HILLS THAT SURROUND THE CITY -- BURSTS OF TRACER FIRE ARE RISING OUT OF THE DARKNESS OF THE CITY AND HILLS AS I AM WRITING THIS -- THE MILITARY SEEMS TO BE FIRING THEIR WEAPONS AT THE LIGHTENING AS IF THEY WISH TO CHALLENGE EVEN THE RIGHT OF NATURE TO COME INTO THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLACE. THERE HAS BEEN NO WATER, ELECTRICITY OF FOOD IN THIS PLACE FOR MONTHS.

BENEATH ME, ONE LEVEL DOWN, 13 RWANDESE WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE NOW WAITING THE FIRST SIGNS OF DAWN WHEN THE CURFEW WILL BE LIFTED. I WILL ATTEMPT TO SMUGGLE THEM OUT OF THIS COUNTRY AND HOPE THAT WE WILL NOT BE STOPPED AND KILLED AT ONE OF THE NUMEROUS ROADBLOCKS BETWEEN US AND THE UGANDAN BORDER. THESE ARE THE WIVES AND CHILDREN OF RWANDAN MEN WHO WERE SIMPLY AFRAID TO COME THEMSELVES.

I AM WRITING THIS BY FLASHLIGHT. ALL OF MY CLOTHES, WHICH I HAVE REMOVED, ARE LAYING NEXT TO ME ON THE ROOF COVERED WITH THE BLOOD, VOMIT, URINE AND DIARRHEA OF THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN I AM ATTEMPTING TO RESCUE. I AM VERY COLD NOW AND MY HANDS ARE BEGINNING TO SHAKE AS I WRITE. SINCE THERE IS NO WATER AVAILABLE IN KIGALI I AM WAITING UP TONIGHT FOR THE FIRST RAINS OF THE SEASON TO WASH MY CLOTHES, BUT ALSO ME -- I STINK!

TONIGHT I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT CLEANSING THE SOUL -- THE BODY AND CLOTHES WILL DO JUST FINE.

AS I SIT HERE WAITING AND WRITING, MY ONLY COMPANIONS ARE THE WEAPON PROPPED AGAINST THE WALL, THE GIRL'S BIBLE FROM KIBUYE AND THIS DAIRY. THE WEAPON IS HERE TO INSURE THESE POOR PEOPLE WILL LIVE TO SEE THE MORNING; I AM MONITORING THE ONLY ENTRANCE INTO THIS BUILDING WHICH IS LOCATED NEXT TO THE PRESIDENTAL COMPOUND. THIS DIARY, TO RECORD MY THOUGHTS IN AN ATTEMPT TO KEEP MY INSANITY*(I MEANT TO WRITE SANITY).

I AM HERE TONIGHT BECAUSE I WAS LATE IN RETURNING TODAY-- FROM KIBUYE IN THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE COUNTRY-- I HAD PLANNED TO MOVE THESE FAMILIES TO SAFETY OUT OF RWANDA AND INTO UGANDA BY SUNSET LAST NIGHT .

I HAD SET OUT EARLY THIS MORNING TO FUFILL A COMMITMENT MADE TO ARCHBISHOP PHILLIP HANNAN OF NEW ORLEANS-- TO FIND A SMALL TOWN DEEP IN THE MOUNTAINS OF SOUTHERN RWANDA -- THE TOWN OF KIBEHO . ------ KIBAHO-A TOWN HELD IN GREAT AWE BY CATHOLICS FROM AROUND THE WORLD - A PLACE OF VISIONS- A PLACE OF PROPHECIES AND NOW A TOWN NO ONE HAD BEEN ABLE TO CONTACT SINCE APRIL.

THERE ARE 7 YOUNG PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO HAVE HAD A VISION IN 1987 OF THE VIRGIN MARY-A VISION IN WHICH THE SAID THAT UNLESS THE PEOPLE OF RWANDA PRAYED MORE AND FORGIVE EACH OTHER—THE RIVERS OF RWANDA WOULD FLOW RED WITH BLOOD.

i GUESS SHE WAS SHE CORRECT.

I TRIED TO FIND THEM TO ALSO BRING THEM OUT-NO LUCK. THEY HAD APPARENTLY BEEN MOVED TO THE TRIANGLE AREA.

KIBEHO-- 5 HOURS SOUTH OF KIGALI –IS A TRIP THROUGH R.P.F. , U.N. AND OLD GOVERNMENT BATTLE LINES --ACROSS MOUNTAINOUS ROADS-- THAT ARE SOME OF THE WORST IN AFRICA---STRAIGHT UP OR DOWN ---THE NARROW ROADS TWIST AND TURN AROUND THE SIDES OF VOLCANOES WITH SHEER DROPS OF 500 TO 1,000 FEET---THE RED DUST IS LIKE FINE TALCUM. -YOU BREATH IT UNTIL YOUR LUNGS ARE COATED-YOU COUGH UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE--IT GETS INTO YOUR EYES-UNTIL YOU CAN'T SEE...

I LEFT KIGALI AT 4:30 THIS MORNING AND 5 HOURS LATER REACHED THE MOUNTAIN TOP OF KIBEHO --EVEN FROM A DISTANCE ONE CAN SEE THE ENORMOUS RED BRICK CHURCH STANDING ALONE A TOP A VERY BARREN MOUNTAIN.

AS I APPROACH-- IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THE CHURCH ,CAPABLE OF HOLDING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, HAS SUFFERED TERRIBLE DAMAGE ..... THE RED TILE ROOF IS GONE--THE SIDES OF THE CHURCH HAVE LARGE HOLES BLOWN IN .

AS I PARKED IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH A VERY HUNGRY HUTU SOLDIER CAME UP AND ASKED MY INTEREST IN THE CHURCH--I SUGGESTED TO HIM THAT I WOULD BE HAPPY TO FEED HIM IF HE WOULD PROVIDE ME WITH SOME ANSWERS -- A TERRIBLE STENCH OF DEATH STILL FILLED THE AIR...I ASKED HIM “HOW MANY DIED HERE IN THE CHURCH” HIS ANSWER IS SIMPLE AND DIRECT “ONLY 5,000...!”

MY GOD! , FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS I HAVE COUNTED 5,000 BODIES IN KIBAHO, 15,000 IN KIBUYE, 10,000 IN LAKE VICTORIA AND ANOTHER 5,000 IN THE KAGARA RIVER, AND PROBABLY ANOTHER 10,000/18,000 IN OTHER LAKES, RIVERS AND TOWNS.

I ASK THE SOLDIER, “WHY THE HOLES IN THE SIDES OF THE CHURCH ?”--I AM TOLD THAT WHEN THE TUTSI -- WHO HAD SOUGHT SANCTUARY INSIDE THE CHURCH-- WOULD NOT COME OUT TO DIE --TUTSI WHO HAD APPARENTLY ATTEMPTED TO DEFEND THEIR FAMILIES IN THE CHURCH-- THE MILITIA BECAME SO ENRAGED THAT THEY USED ROCKETS TO BLOW HOLES INTO THE CHURCH IN AN ATTEMPT TO REACH THE TUTSI TO KILL THEM --WHEN THE TUTSI CONTINUED TO DEFEND THEMSELVES THE MILITIA FINALLY SET FIRE TO THE ROOF OF THE CHURCH TO DRIVE THE TUTSI OUT --THIS THEY DID-- AND AS THE TUTSI CAME OUT THROUGH THE HOLES THEY WERE HACKED TO DEATH.--WHEN THE MILITIA HAD KILLED ALL THOSE WHO ATTEMPTED TO FLEE -- THEY THEN HACKED TO DEATH THOSE PEOPLE LEFT IN THE CHURCH.-- WHEN THEY WERE SATISFIED THEY HAD KILLED EVERYONE INSIDE THEY PILED THE BODIES OF THOSE INSIDE THE CHURCH BOTH LIVING AND DEAD AND SET THEM ON FIRE.

BY THIS TIME, I WAS ANGRY --ANGRY AT THIS PARTICULAR MAN ,WITH HIS STAINED MACHETE,--ANGRY AT ALL OF THE DAMNED HUTUS WHO CAN KILL LIKE THIS-- AND SHOW ABSOLUTELY NO REMORSE OR REGRET AND ANGRY, ANGRY AT OUR OWN GOVERNMENT.

I FINALLY CALMED DOWN ENOUGH AFTER HEARING THIS STORY TO TELL THIS SOLDIER TO WALK AWAY FROM ME AND TO STAY FAR AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I KILLED HIM. -- FOR ONE SECOND LOOKING AT THE INSANITY IN HIS EYES I KNEW THIS MAN WAS GOING TO TRY AND KILL ME. WE STARED AT EACH OTHER FOR A SECOND BUT THAT SECOND PASSED AND HE TURNED AND WALKED AWAY..

I PHOTOGRAPHED WHAT REMAINED OF THE CHURCH. THE CHURCH IS BARE OF ALL FURNITURE WITH ONLY A GREAT PILE OF ASHES IN THE CENTER. FROM THE CENTER LONG AND WIDE RIVERS OF BLOOD AND BURNING BODY FAT HAVE FLOWED OUT IN MANY DIRECTIONS. THE WALLS AND CONFESSIONALS OF THE CHIRCH ARE STAINED RED UP TO A HEIGHT OF 7 FEET, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF AREAS WHERE THE SPURTS OF BLOOD REACH UP TO 8 AND 9 FEET. I WILL ENCLOSE SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF THAT GOD FORSAKEN PLACE IF ANY OF THEM ARE WORTH SENDING.

THERE IS SOMETHING I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT. VERY FEW THINGS IN THIS LIFE SURPRISE ME OR MAKE THE HAIR RISE ON THE BACK OF MY NECK. KIBEHO WAS ONE. I HAD MOVED TO THE FRONT OF THE CHURCH TO FINISH TAKING PHOTOS-I CAREFULLY STUDIED THE AREA I WANTED TO PHOTOGRAPH—THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE AREA EXCEPT THE FRONT OF THE CHURCH, I RAISED THE CAMERA TO MY EYE AND WAS STUNNED TO SEE A VERY ANCIENT WOMAN DRESSED ALL IN BLACK STANDING IN A RECESS OF THE FRONT WALL OF THE CHURCH. I QUICKLY CLICKED THE CAMERA BUTTON TO TAKE THE PICTURE AND THEN LOWERED THE CAMERA. THERE WAS AGAIN NO ONE THERE.(*1)

IN AN ATTEMPT TO PHOTOGRAPH PART OF THE BUILDING I CLIMBED A STAIR CASE TO THE SECOND LEVEL WHERE THE CHOIR HAD SUNG. WHEN I REACHED THE TOP OF THE STAIRS THE SKELETON OF A YOUNG GIRL WAS ON THE FLOOR CURLED UP ON HER LEFT SIDE IN THE FETAL POSITION-- HER ARMS WERE ACROSS HER CHEST-- BUT HER HANDS WERE MISSING --I SAW THE MARKS ON HER WRIST BONES WHERE A MACHETE WAS USED TO HACK THEM OFF. -- FOR A MOMENT I STARTED TO STEP ACROSS HER BODY BUT I GLANCED DOWN AND SAW A BOOK ON THE FLOOR UNDER HER SKELETON.

THE BOOK WAS FACE DOWN AND OPENED. I MOVED THE SKELETON ASIDE AND FOUND IT TO BE A FRENCH BIBLE . IT WAS BLOODY, BURNED AND WATER LOGGED AND OPENED TO THE 51 st., 52ed ., AND 53rd., PSALMS --- THE PAGE THAT WAS OPENED TO THE PSALMS IS STAINED RED WITH BLOOD.

THE RAINS ARE NOW COMING DOWN HARD. I AM GOING TO STOP TO BATHE..

IT IS NOW 5:15 A.M. I AM FINALLY CLEAN WITH MY WET CLOTHES BACK ON. I AM FREEZING ,BUT AT LEAST I AM CLEAN AND I HAVE NOT HAD TO KILL ANYONE ELSE DURING.

10 HOURS AGO ON A MOUNTIAN ROAD LEADING HERE TO KIGALI I HAD BEEN FOLLOWING A TRUCK FULL OF PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY CHILDREN, THEY WERE STACKED SO HIGH THAT EVERY TIME THE TRUCK SWERVED THE PEOPLE ON THE TRUCK SWAYED FROM SIDE TO SIDE ABOVE THE GUARD RAILS ON THE SIDE OF THE TRUCK TO THE POINT OF NEARLY FALLING OFF. WE REACHED A VERY SHARP CURVE WHERE THERE WAS KILLING GOING ON. THE DRIVER AHEAD OF ME SWERVED HARD TO THE LEFT TO AVOID BODIES AND 3 CHILDREN FLEW OFF THE TRUCK WITH TWO OF THEM ROLLING DIRECTLY UNDER MY FRONT WHEELS. THE WHEELS CRUSHED BOTH OF THEIR SKULLS KILLING THEM INSTANTLY. I STOPPED WITH BOTH CHILDREN STILL UNDER THE TRUCK. THE PEOPLE AHEAD OF ME CAME BACK, LOOKED AND THEN HELPED ME LIFT MY TRUCK OFF OF THE CHILDREN. WE SIMPLY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER FOR A FEW MOMENTS—THEY LIFTED THE CHILDREN UP, WRAPPED THEM IN SOME DIRTY BLANKETS AND DROVE AWAY. THERE WAS SIMPLY NO EMOTION LEFT IN THEM. STRANGE, BUT I DID NOT HEAR THE SOUND OF WOMEN CRYING—BUT THEN AGAIN—MAYBE ITS NOT SO STRANGE. AS FOR ME, I KNELT DOWN IN THE RAIN, MUD AND BLOOD NEAR THE FRONT LEFT WHEEL AND STARTED CRYING AND I CRIED FOR THEM, AND FOR ME TOO I GUESS. AFTER THEY LEFT

I AM GOING TO CLOSE NOW AS THE SUN IS BEGINNING TO SHOW ITSELF ON THE HORIZON AND I HAVE A LONG TRIP AHEAD OF ME

GOD, I MISS MY BOYS TONIGHT! I GUESS I KNOW I REALLY WON'T SURVIVE MUCH LONGER. PERHAPS THIS DIARY WILL SURVIVE ME.

I PLAN TO GIVE THE KIBAHO BIBLE TO MOTHER ANGELICA IN BIRMINGHAM(*2) IF IT SURVIVES.

ALLEN R CAMPBELL

SANTA BARBARA JANUARY 27, 2004

*1 THE PHOTO IS STILL WITH ME.

*2 THE BIBLE IS NOW IN BIRMINHAM , ALABAMA WITH MOTHER ANGELICA OF EWTN TELEVISION.

I HAVE NOT BOTHERED TO CORRECT EITHER MY SPELLING OR GRAMMER.

PAGE 2